(News Investigators)/ A Professor of Health Education, Bidemi Idowu, says continuous stay in an unhappy marriage usually affects the emotional, mental and psychological wellbeing of married couple.
Mrs. Idowu made this assertion on Tuesday while delivering the 69th Inaugural Lecture of the Lagos State University (LASU), Ojo.
Speaking on the theme: “Sexuality: The Savour, The Caution, The Pleasure” she observed that dragging a relationship strained with conflicts usually resulted in leaving individuals with low self-esteem and in depression.
“It is practically possible to recover from a divorce or separation, but dragging a relationship strained with conflicts results in leaving individuals with low self-esteem and in depression.
“Marriage is a relationship that is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. If you are not exactly blissful and happy in your marriage, you are not alone.
“According to the USA National Opinion Research Centre she(2016), only 60 per cent of people are happy in their unions,” she said.
Idowu explained that marriage was a formal union which ensures social and legal contract between two individuals who unites their lives or until they decided to separate.
She said that being married gives partners legitimacy to sexual relation within the marriage, as tradition and religion views marriage as a key role player in preservation of moral and civilisation.
The expert said that while most couples usually do not say they were in a loveless and unhappy marriage, “there are signs that indicates that a marriage was loveless and unhappy”.
Mrs. Idowu listed the signs as ineffective communication skills, loosing hope of challenging spouse to correct his or her flaws, not visualising the future together, no more sex or physical affection in the marriage, amongst others.
She noted that, as vital as the institution of marriage was, it requires adequate preparation, and should be subjected to proper counselling and trainings as done when entering a new employment.
Mrs. Idowu, however, advised on how conflicts should be managed in marriage, saying that there was no perfect marriage.
According to her, couples must express emotion, not negative behaviour, use reflective listening, explain your position, describe the feeling and rationale behind a notion, explore solution and analyse alternatives to the problem.